“strike one, strike two, strike 3 kickers out” the umpire had called. As monesia slowly walked to the dug out in shame of letting her team down, she stumbled over a lost of hope. She just knew that she would be singled out by the best.
The strive for success, the encouragement to do her best , as the time begins to narrow she kicks the dirt off the base and stare into mid space. The cheers and laughter were great but it just may be too late.
"Whoa, i dont know if i want to go to the kickball game or run track... i'm confused on what to do."
I like the 1st one because it really pulled me in. The others ones were good also though :)
ReplyDelete-BJG
The second one makes you want to read more and I like it better.
ReplyDeleteCLN
I think the first one was also really good, however, you may want to fix ALL DEM GRAMMAR ISSUES U GOT GOIN ON THURR.
ReplyDeleteLike so:
“Strike one....Strike two....Strike three! Kickers out!” the umpire called. As Monesia slowly walked to the dug out of shame in letting her team down, she internally stumbled over her loss of hope. She just knew that she would be singled out by the best.
I liked the first lead, although the second sentence was confusing. The corrections in the comment above this one are good. What does the third sentence mean exactly? Little confused on that one too.
ReplyDeleteI kind of liked the 1st one. It has some grammatical errors but overall, it's a good one.
ReplyDeleteKathy H.